Some people are just hard to like. You see them coming, and you hope you can avoid them. Sen. Lindsey Graham was not that person.
The opposite was true of Graham. Being around him was like being around a true friend, and that’s exactly what he was to me for over 20 years.
I last communicated with Graham just a few days before I received the message on Sunday morning that he had died. It took me a while to process that message. He was always so full of life that somehow the word “death” and Graham didn’t belong in the same sentence.
For those who don’t know, Graham grew up in the same kind of Southern poverty I did, but he faced some very tough challenges beyond just lack of money. His parents owned a bar and pool hall, and Graham worked cleaning it up after closing hours.
Within 15 months, both his parents died. Graham was 21 and left with the responsibility of either taking care of his little sister or standing by as she was declared an orphan and put into a foster home. He enlisted in the United States Air Force so he would have a paycheck and be able to support her, and legally adopted her to keep her from being put in foster care.
He could have complained and whined as to how unfair life was. He didn’t. He worked – hard. He took care of his little sister as she grew up and watched her find her own success.
Graham completed college and law school, became an officer in the air force, where he served in the reserves for 33 years, and completed his military service as a colonel. He was elected to the US House of Representatives and then to the US Senate.
He went from cleaning a bar to becoming one of the most respected and effective senators on Capitol Hill. He didn’t talk about the American Dream – he lived it and demonstrated it.
He loved Israel. He loved Israel because he loved America and understood that the partnership between the US and Israel was an incredible benefit to both nations and to freedom. He often said that Israel’s enemies are America’s enemies. He was right.
His critics called him a warmonger. Nonsense! He didn’t love war, but he knew that nations built on hate and death like Iran were a threat to freedom and peace everywhere. His view was that strength is more likely to bring peace than weakness and capitulation. He was right again.
On several occasions, when I would be in Israel with a group of American pilgrims seeing the Holy Land, I’d see Graham at the David Citadel Hotel or somewhere in Jerusalem. He was usually with his best friends, former senators John McCain and Joe Lieberman, or as McCain’s daughter Meghan called them, “The three amigos.”
Heart for the world
Graham had a sense of humor that was contagious, engaging, and disarming. If there was one thing I loved about him, it was that he took his work and the issues of the world seriously, but he never took himself that seriously.
Unlike many political figures I’ve known, he didn’t elbow his way to every microphone or jump in front of every camera to be seen or heard. He was great on TV for sure, but his real work was behind the scenes, working the room and winning over fellow Republicans and reluctant Democrats alike.
He was willing to do what he believed was right, even if it made some in his own Republican party livid. Yet despite those who unfairly labeled him a “RINO” (Republican in Name Only) and sought to defeat him, the people of his beloved South Carolina continued to reelect him.
He had a heart for the world, but he also always had time for kids who wanted to snap a photo with him or a veteran who wanted to ask his help. His love and patience with people extended to those who were just like he was growing up.
He never forgot where he came from or who he was. He was never ashamed of where he’d been because he could be grateful for where he’d come and where he was going.
America lost a true statesman. Israel lost one of its best friends and strongest defenders. South Carolina lost a very effective and compassionate senator. And I lost a dear personal friend.
But instead of being filled with sadness, I will rejoice and celebrate the life of one who left an indelible mark on us all. And as the Book of Psalms said, “Weeping may last for the night, but joy comes in the morning.” Good night, my friend. I’ll see you in the morning!
The writer is the US ambassador to Israel.