Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s White House meeting with US President Donald Trump marked their seventh face-to-face meeting since Trump returned to office 18 months ago. The stakes were high. Nerves are frayed. The standoff with Iran is stressful – last weekend, so many Americans and Israelis were sure a massive attack was coming. And Trump’s sledgehammer leadership style banks on him being the most unpredictable leader in the room. Canadian friends joke that living above an America run by the mercurial Trump is like living on the second floor of a meth lab: you never know when it’s going to blow up.
As of this writing, it’s not clear what will happen. But even if the seemingly worst occurred and Trump dropped another F-bomb on Netanyahu, Israel should take the compliment. With Trump, as with presidents Bill Clinton and Joe Biden, cussing out Israel’s longtime leader, while undoubtedly unpleasant, reflects the intense frustration rooted in deep commitment – and interconnectedness.
Anyone who has ever had a family or been married understands this paradox. Some of our closest human relationships can be extraordinarily volatile. Psychologists call this “attachment anger.” When strangers frustrate you, staying calm and quiet isn’t hard. But when those you love disappoint or vex or defy, anger erupts more easily.
In his 1992 blockbuster, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, John Gray popularized another relevant concept. People apply his “rubber band theory” to all kinds of situations. The metaphor certainly explains the US-Israel dynamic. When two people, or two nations, are so enmeshed, leaders may clash, snap, even pull away, hard, fast, far, without rupture. Ultimately, the structural foundations, shared values, and overlapping needs keep them, like a stretched rubber band, bouncing back quickly.
Clinton was deeply committed to the State of Israel’s survival – and the Oslo Peace Process. When he hosted a newly elected Prime Minister Netanyahu at the White House in July, 1996, the Americans, Israelis, and Palestinians had been working the Oslo process for almost three years. Doubting Yasser Arafat – for good reason – Netanyahu promised to be far more unyielding than he ultimately proved to be.
Still, starting in the president’s own Oval Office, Netanyahu lectured his host about the history of the Arab-Israeli conflict. After the meeting, Clinton fumed: “Who the f**k does he think he is? Who’s the f**king superpower here?”
Biden proudly called himself a lifelong “Zionist” and embraced Israel generously, diplomatically, and militarily after the Hamas-led massacres on October 7, 2023. Still, Biden and Netanyahu kept clashing over military strategy.
Wanting Israel to win, but worried that Israel would lose its good name, Biden became increasingly apoplectic. In July 2024, when Israel bombed Beirut, eliminating Fuad Shukur, a leading Hezbollah commander responsible for killing 12 Israeli-Druze children in Majdal Shams, Biden confronted Israel’s prime minister. “Bibi, what the f**k?” the president bellowed, according to Bob Woodward’s 2024 book, War. “You know the perception of Israel around the world increasingly is that you’re a rogue state, a rogue actor.”
Woodward reports Biden also vented to aides Clinton-style, calling Netanyahu “a bad f**king guy!” and a “f**king liar.” Although these assaults were more personal, the rubber band snapped back quickly. Biden didn’t abandon Israel or Bibi – despite growing pressure from other Democrats.
Trump's outburst was just a chapter in their relationship
IN THAT CONTEXT, Trump’s outburst, asking “What the f**k are you doing?” in June 2026, was just another chapter in a long, complex, ongoing story of a special relationship led by strong-minded leaders whose agendas will occasionally clash. Last month, Trump sought a diplomatic formula with Iran, while Netanyahu doubted Iran’s intentions.
Justifiably defending his country’s interests after Hezbollah renewed its attacks against Israel, Netanyahu approved strikes on Beirut and southern Lebanon. Trump, protecting the negotiations he still had faith in then, called Netanyahu “f**king crazy,” claiming Bibi had “no f**king judgment.”
Now, just weeks later, after hysterical cries of “rupture” on both sides of the Atlantic, and Iran’s Strait of Hormuz power play, Netanyahu and Trump seem to share a deep distrust of Iran’s leaders.
My latest e-book, The Essential Guide to the US-Israel Partnership: The 250th anniversary edition, brands Israel America’s rare DIY (Defend It Yourself) ally, and ROI (Return on Investment) ally, generating many technological, medical, cultural, diplomatic, and military dividends for the United States. But the book also traces how every president, including such “pro-Israel” stalwarts like Reagan, inevitably clashed at some point with their Israeli counterparts.
Today, with anti-Zionist obsessives like New York’s Mayor Zohran Mamdani demonizing Israel constantly, the occasional presidential F-bomb seems downright mild – and flattering. Similarly, with European diplomats claiming over the years: “All the current troubles in the world are because of that shitty little country, Israel,” or that the “f**king Israelis” should be “wiped off the face of the earth,” it’s clear how bonded America is with Israel and how most Americans are with Israelis.
Mark Twain understood the joy and power of a good tirade filled with expletives. In Pudd’nhead Wilson, he advised: “When angry, count [to] four; when very angry, swear.” That’s because, Twain explained elsewhere, “Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.”
More elegantly, Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel, who won the Nobel Peace Prize, taught: “The opposite of love is not hate; it’s indifference.”
It’s impossible to predict if Trump and Netanyahu embraced warmly or crossed swords yet again. But it is highly unlikely that their encounter lacked great drama or reflected a dismissive indifference.
The writer is a distinguished scholar of North American history at McGill University, and a senior research fellow at the Jewish People Policy Institute. He is the author of nine books on presidential history and, more recently, To Resist the Academic Intifada: Letters to my students on defending the Zionist dream, as well as his latest e-book, The Essential Guide to the US-Israel Partnership: The 250th anniversary edition.